What Happened to Bathsheba

[links back to review thoughts on Far From the Madding Crowd, published April 1, 2015]

In my head, I’ve been imagining two girls discussing this as gossip, possibly like something similar to the following exchange:

Girl1 – “Did you hear about Bathsheba!??!  She had 3 guys after her and she fell for the WRONG one, OF COURSE.”

and the response from Girl2 being, “Bathsheba? What the heck kind of name is BATHSHEBA?!”

So, Girl1 would say, “Oh man, you don’t know Bathsheba? She’s just one of the best badass chicks who ever ran a whole farm. BY HERSELF.  And wouldn’t take nothin’ from nobody. And this was way back when girls weren’t allowed to do much but have babies and knit and stuff.”

Girl2 would obviously ask, “When was this? Who was she? She had three boyfriends?”

Girl1 – “Yep, THREE. One was a rich neighbor farm dude who another friend told me she thinks he was probably on the autism spectrum cuz he didn’t really ‘get’ social interaction concepts, ifyouknowwhatImean, but then OMG! what Bathsheba DID to him was CRAZY!”

Girl2 – “What?!  What’d she do?”

Girl1 – (snort) “She sent him an anonymous Valentine asking him to marry her and SHE HAD NEVER EVEN MET HIM!!!  Yaknow, only saw him from afar. Totally stupid of her.”

Girl2 – “Why’d she do that?”

Girl1 – “I dunno. But she tried to be nice and explain it but it was a big mess. He fell mad in love with her and she didn’t know what to do with him because she wanted to take care of herself and not need anyone. In the meantime, she had this other guy, Oak was his name, that she needed to help her run the farm – she needed him in times of trouble yaknow, but he kept pissing her off so she would fire him but then she’d need him again and he grudgingly did it because he was in love with her but she was totally clueless and mad at him because he would speak his mind to her AND GIVE HER GOOD ADVICE but she never listened.”

Girl2 – “Then what happened?”

Girl1 – “Then she TOTALLY screwed up and met Troy the Soldier – guess it was the uniform – and she fell hard for the scalliwag. UGH!  It was awful!  And she MARRIED him!”

Girl2 – (in a whisper) “What was wrong with him?”

Girl1 – “I told you – he was a goodlookin’ good-for-nuthin’ who could talk all the sweet nothings and you know he was UP to NO GOOD. Not that Bathsheba could tell cuz she was smitten.”

Girl2 – “Why do we always want the bad boys? So what happened to the other two guys when she got married?”

 

— seriously, if you don’t know the story stop reading here! —

 

 

 

 

Girl1 – “OH, that’s when it gets really good! See, Bathsheba finds out that her husband had a girlfriend, but she – the girlfriend, not Bathsheba – dies! AND the chick was pregnant!! and so the husband disappears cuz he really loved the dead girl more than Bathsheba and everybody thinks he drowns but Bathsheba isn’t so sure and the rich dude now wants her to marry him cuz she’s a widow and just when he throws a party thinking she will say yes, the husband shows up and so rich-dude SHOOTS HIM!!!

          and kills him!”

Girl2 – “OMG!!!! That’s …

invisiblespace  exciting.”

Girl1 – “So she ends up marrying Oak the worker-boy who has loved her since he set eyes on her and she finally agrees to it and they live happily every after. Ain’t that awesome? I’m so happy for her.”

Girl2 – “But what happened to the rich-dude?”

Girl1 – “He rots in jail for the rest of his life. I think Bathsheba gets his farm, though.”

Girl2 – “Well.

invisiblespace Huh.”

 

 

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