I am conflicted.
Let me provide the scenario, the back story.
I was bouncing around the bookosphereblogworld when I found a review that appealed to something in me. SOMETHING. oh, how conflicted I am in the telling here! oh how I long to call on some applicable Shakespearean line of prose and poetry and theatrics to make this my own amazing saga!
SEE? I’m fighting my own whatever-demons of nonsense as I struggle not to write a piece of melodrama for your own confusion drama?
I’ll start over.
I read a book review that caught my attention. The review stated that a teacher of a vocational trade suggested this title to his students and it was overwhelmingly received. Embraced even, by a group not traditionally won over by a book, perhaps. So I was hooked.
And the blogger, who happened to be a book seller if I understand correctly, also loved this book.
I was won over myself.
I sent the link to this review to friends who thus purchased the book (I assume) on the basis of said review – and maybe also my enthusiasm for sending on the link to the review?
I bought the book. I didn’t just buy ONE book but I bought TWO. I bought these from the BOGOHO table at Borders – which I must admit … I WAS EXCITED!!! to see this on the BOGOHO table. So I bought.
I bought this for myself and I bought one to send to my Holiday Swap because 1) I had little information to base what would be a good choice for the giftee (ok – I ain’t good at this?) and 2) I thought that if a teacher was doing a great job of engaging youthful readers to this book than a YA librarian might want to know it.
AND THEN!!! the Bookclubber who had the floor (the turn for suggesting a book) brought this book in and I was all “HEY-Yay! I KNOW that book!!!!” and it was voted in for January.
I hate writing these posts and would probably just skip right over it like I did with Lolita. However, I am baffled with myself and my reactions and feel I must review this for these reasons:
1) This is a book club book.
2) I was so excited about this book and am seriously baffled WHY and why-so-let-down.
3) I am unable to attend book club meeting. ***
Is EVERYONE ready for what comes next?!
MOTIVATION for READING: My bookclub chose this for this month’s book.
RATING: no rating. DNF
SPOILERS ahead and this is the last warning.
If you are still with me (and are not just KB nor GM nor MD – my most possible IRL readers of my blog) then you have a right to my thoughts on why I chose not to finish this book.
I got to the point where the reader was being teased with cancer-cured!! no wait… cancer back!!! and I just had to stop.
I had made the mistake of looking at the photos at the back of the book and I knew right away that the amazing lady who brought these two men together was going to die.
At this point in the book, it was just sequence of events. I didn’t feel anything.
I kept thinking… “what am I feeling? why was I so excited about this book? what was I hoping for in this story? am I getting it?”
the answer was NO.
and I’m baffled. I’m baffled. Was it an amazing marketing job by the book jacket? was it an amazing sell by the blogger that first brought this story to my attention?!
I was so perplexed that I had to go re-read that initial review post (and no offense to the blogger) I MUST WONDER if I really READ THAT WHOLE POST!!! I obviously didn’t or just glossed over her words because I must admit it was accurate. [UPDATED to link to the original blogger’s review here – and it’s quite positive: The Book Lady.]
I think I was so sold by the idea that a vocational teacher* started a book club with his students and those students loved this book that I failed to comprehend the religiousness mentioned in the body of the post.
This book. This book is about those God-fearing God-loving people who give all and live the dream.
I do not mean to offend those Christians. It seems to be that I’m being horrible.
but I . do . not. care.
I didn’t care for the rest of the story. I didn’t care what happened to Ron. I didn’t care what happened to Denver. I felt sad but not about Debbie – she was so secure in her Lord that she is in a better place I’m sure of it and it all smacked of LOOK AT US GOD LOVES US IN OUR SUFFERING AND WE ARE TREATED TO THE wonderfulness of God that it just appalls me.
I’m assuming that my feelings about it all are irrelevant anyway and that Ron and Denver come out all happy regardless and that they just don’t need any reaction from me as a reader so I will just mosey on along, if that’s OK.
I apologize. I must reiterate that I am confused. As a Christian with my own way of understanding my relationship with my faith, I just don’t need to read a book like this and I
I want to know if I’m missing some godly sign that I need to pay attention.
Am I a big fat sinner for not embracing this book?
What hooked me into this book at the initial idea in the first place?
Am I only proving myself as a swirly thought maniac?!??!
I’ll stop now.
I gave up on this book on page 165. I have spent entirely more and too much time on wondering about my own reaction to this book rather than the book itself that I just have to stop.
It’s personal and it’s disturbing. And I’ll shut up NOW.
[updated: so it’s guilt that I’m feeling, huh? ok. I know what I need to do. Again, thank you. I’ll stop trying to edit the crazy post. And – I don’t want to say that the book is bad – I just didn’t want to read it anymore.]
* I used to be a Vocation Education Supervisor for a state in the midwest. I loved that job and I absolutely hated it for opposite and conflicting reasons. So goes life. I recruited and trained and supported teachers who taught the vocational trades and who were put down and ridiculed and received annoying treatment from high falutin’ annoying ‘real’ educators that it mostly encouraged me to be enraged all the time.
*** My husband is going to a conference in Phoenix and I get to tag along. I just found out.
PS. I’m very much enjoying the book I am now reading once I got over the guilt of giving up on SKODAS: It’s Wordy Shipmates – it’s very entertaining.